Loneliness

1st Dec'10

I wanted to write something on loneliness...not because I am lonely but yes I do sometimes feel lonely may be for a minute but I do feel lonely...I think everyone does at somepoint of time. My life was full of hussle & bussle....though not always but few months back....my profession was to be with people, speak to them, try to understand their problems and to solve them, recruit them..get them to new jobs, helping them getting accustomed to the new environment...that was really exciting.. like everyone I used to like my job at one point and hate it at other :)..I also had to help them leave the job, sometimes with notice sometimes without it..but then that was part and parcel of my job.


When I left my job, at first it was to get recovered from my illness but it was nice in the beginning..wow getting up at anytime...doing anything you like the entire day, but couldn't go out frequently since I had to take care of my health too..after all it was because of my health that I was at home. After I started recovering, it was time when my husband went out of the country for a important assignment...it was then that I realised the loneliness.

Before I got married, my friends & parents were my life and they were always with me, but after your marraige your priorities change and my life revolved around my husband and my job. Though sometimes he was out of town my job kept me busy and he was always there a phone call away. Now I was left with no job and husband very far from me though he was still a phone call away but the time difference was something that was bothering. I was with my family members, friends the same situation I had before I got married but I still felt lonely. I sometimes feel why do we get so attached to someone or for that matter to something that we cannot do without it ?

Loneliness is always there in your life in someway or other. I have now left my country to join my husband in the foreign land. I am glad to be with him. Again a new life...getting to understand the ways of the new country their folks, their way of life...exciting. I miss my country and my other family members there but am liking the new way of life too...I call it a new way of life because here am in a new role, a "housewife". I am enjoying my new role as there are many things I am doing for the first time. The weather suits my health too. There is loneliness here too...it never leaves you. I am alone the entire day, very far from my social network. I think thats the reason I am on the internet the enire day looking for someone whom I know is online so I can chat and exchange my ideas about my new life. Working in kitchen helps me a lot..I never knew that it would be refreshing :). When I am feeling dull, entering into the kitchen and trying out something new refreshes me.

So as I said loneliness will never leave you...you have to live with it and I think it is necessary sometimes in your life because it teaches you a lot of things, makes you understand a lot of things in your own life which you might have never realised. It's just that you should know how to handle it rather than getting deep into it and making it a disaster.

New Beginning

30th Nov '10.

This is my first blog. I have been hearing people writing blogs, talking about that, controversies over the blogs and a lot more..have read few blogs which I like reading..like one of Amitabh Bachchans. Always wanted to write on many things but never tried blogging before.

I like reading Amitabh because I feel his life is very inspiring to I believe everyone...I had once read in a news paper about him and his thinking about life. He had mentioned that it is very difficult to accept things or happenings in life which you had not expected to happen..but then whatever happens is God's will and if we want the same thing we are happy and if not we are not. I don't remember the exact words but it was something like " Jo apni marzi ka nahi hota woh bhagwan ki marzi ka hota hai". And God would never will for something wrong, so accept it as it is and move on.

Its human tendency to believe something or someone who is established, successful and experienced. I am sure no one would get inspired with what I write and publish. Whenever you are going through bad times and if you watch someone who is going through worst and still positive inspires you to become more positive and accept what you already have and what you are suffering from because nothing is perfect. I am not writing this just for the sake but I have started believing this somewhere.

I am a patient of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). It was very difficult for me to accept the fact that it is incurable and that I have to stay with this the whole life. But then my condition is much better than a lot other patients who are suffering the same. There are very few Indians who have MS and I am one of them. So either I am one of the unfortunate ones or may be one of the fortunate ones. I dont know but then again thats God's will so  I have to accept this and move on. I never thought on this so strongly until the time came that I had to leave my job because of my health as it was getting too stressful. That was my first compromise, may be the first compromise in life. Now thats not bad :) no compromises in life till the age of 29.